"You rely too much on your voice, it lacks structure."

I played a lot of wow two weeks ago, and for a stunning twist I spent pretty much all of last week hanging out with other people. I missed the weekly. Big deal, I know. Sometimes I complain about living here. Actually, a lot of the time I complain about living here. There’s nothing to do and no real clear hangout to meet people at. Everyone who has lived here for a significant portion of their lives has essentially their own clique of friends. Certainly, there’s overlap, but they all grow up with the mindset that you know who you know and meeting new people is pointless because you already have a group or two to hang out with. Make new friends but keep the old, the first one’s silver, the other gold. It permeates every person born or raised here. No one is free from it. That’s why no one escapes. That’s why people live here for all of their lives, or move out and move back, or have friends they’ve known from high school in the same area. It’s a mindset. It’s stagnancy. This area is very fortunate to be as wealthy as it is, but that wealth breeds complacency. It breeds ignorance and hostility. It breeds a warped perspective on “the way things really are™. It’s an illusion, an oasis in the desert of life.

It’s wealth, is what it is. It’s the lack of needs. Mankind’s most compelling reason to associate with each other is nearly always linked to some sort of need, some survival necessity that cannot be gotten on one’s own. We collaborate, it’s what we do. It’s what makes us unique from nearly every other animal besides hive-based insects. But here we have people without needs. Without compelling reasons to collaborate with others. They’re provided for. Their parents cover the cost of living. In the event of lacking needs, Humans have this amazing capacity to create more needs. Needs that don’t exist, needs that have very little relation to legitimate survival. So they need coffee. They need cool hangouts. They need the latest gadget or doodad. It’s really not all their fault. A lot of companies wised up and realized that these people had a bunch of money to waste and nothing in particular to waste it on. So they spend billions each year convincing them to need the things the companies sell. It’s a very tidy operation. Unfortunately it becomes a mindset, a consumerist lifestyle. Things become more important than people. Things become a means to an end. Shopping malls become a place to hang out, not just to shop. Artsy stores become hip and trendy.

But none of these things are necessary. No one goes to grocery shops to hang out. There are no trendy hardware stores. The hippest people wouldn’t be caught dead in a Wal-mart. It’s just as superficial and hollow as money itself. Part of the process, though is the buy-in. Once a person is invested in all these things, they can’t stop, they can’t give it up and admit it’s a sham. That would be foolish and they would feel foolish. It’s a modern Emperor’s New Clothes.

Bah, what am I complaining about?

I guess I’m complaining about the crosswalk buttons that loudly state “Cross street with caution, vehicles may not stop.” I’m complaining about the 2,000 seat theatre set to be built right next to the 500 seat theatre, within 2 years of that theatre’s opening. I’m complaining about the pine tree with yellow ribbons and American flags next to a giant downtown flag in front of two fountains and a very noisy and very busy street. I’m complaining about the fact that a major issue raised by some old woman in a city council woman was that they were worried that all the new buildings might make it hard to see aforementioned giant American flag from afar.

I guess I just want to live really far away from here and nearly everywhere else I’ve been and forget they all exist. But I can’t. Not yet anyway. I need to play the game for a little while longer. I need to live here for a little more. But I’m not letting that time go to waste any more. As long as I’m stuck here I am going to make sure everyone I know and everyone I meet knows exactly why and how this place is terrible. I will do everything in my power to make it less terrible. I’ll get away as much as I can, even if they’re only sojourns. I will not let this bullshitty bullshit place keep me down. It’ll be hard, especially with me being as retardedly shy as I am, but by George I will do it. For starters, I joined the school paper for next year, on which I intend to spend most of my time complaining. I also joined the radio, where I will mostly play techno and rant about politics. I’m working on an advanced level academic project, which will hopefully vastly improve my ability to get the hell out of this town. I’m getting the hell out of this place for a few weeks next week, which should help ameliorate my dissatisfaction with everything. Please, if you live here and also hate it, hit me up when I get back. I really don’t do a whole lot with my time and I secretly actually like people, even though I sound angry and misanthropic. It’s crowds I don’t like. Crowds and cliques and authority.

I also canceled my wow subscription (again(haha(until cataclysm comes out(this game should be illegal(fucking crack-game))))).